Sweet Reunion & Lublin Adventures

We arrived in Warsaw safe and sound on May 9^th – just less a couple of pieces of luggage.  We didn’t really care, all we cared about was being reunited with our sweet boys.  On Sunday, May 10^th (mother’s day), we were picked up from our hotel in Warsaw and taken 3 hours southeast to Bilgoraj.  After nearly a 6 month separation, a 20 hour travel day to Poland, a 3 hour drive through the country, we were only 5 minutes away from our sweet boys. The anticipation was killing us.  Finally, on Monday, May 11^th, we were reunited with them.  And what a sweet reunion it was. Below is an excerpt from an email I sent that day:

Today we got to see our boys again!!  We received the best greeting complete with flying hugs!  It felt like we never left - we just picked up right where we left off. I received my first bouquet of hand-picked flowers today.  It included some pretty white flowers (I don't think they were supposed to pick), some dandelions, and a branch with leafs and a ladybug! They are very excited to come home.  I think they were a bit disappointed to realize it would be a little while yet.  They told everyone they saw today that we were their mama & tata and they were going home with us this week.  Seriously, these boys just melt my heart.

I remember that incredible high of having them in my arms again and the relief that came with knowing we would never be separated again.  All of the heartache of the process and the wait just melted away.  The millions of pieces of my shattered heart that were left there so many month ago were instantly made whole.

On Tuesday, May 12^th, we took our 1^st adventure out with the boys along with their caregiver, our facilitator and a representative from the orphanage.  We explored Zamosc and Zwierzyniec – absolutely beautiful. It was a long, fun day and we were able to stay and put them to bed that night.

Wednesday, May 13^th was a big day.  It was the day that we received temporary custody of the boys.  We spent some time at their house visiting with them, their friends and caregivers.  We had some cake (there was always cake) and the boys received gifts.  The good-byes were tough, but we knew we would be back in a few weeks.  Around 11am, we headed out to take a 1 hour trip north to Lublin where we would be staying in an apartment for 3 weeks.  The boys were excited and a little nervous – so were we. 

This is an excerpt from an email I sent on Thursday, May 14^th:

It makes my heart so happy to tell you that there are 2 empty beds in Bilgoraj.  It has been a long time coming. 

We moved from Bilgoraj to Lublin yesterday and are just starting to get settled into our apartment.  I would love to tell you that it has been all sunshine and rainbows, but it hasn't been. Yesterday was a ROUGH day for all 4 of us, but especially the boys. We knew to expect this and have been preparing for it, but holy cow, I don't think anything could have prepared us for what unfolded. It was very hard for them to say good-bye to everything that has been their life for the past 2 1/2 years.  While we know this situation is better, and they are very excited to be with us, it is hard for them to fully understand everything that is going on.  In addition, I think the move stirred up some emotions and past hurts. It breaks my heart to look into their eyes and see the hurt and the grief.  They have endured more than most people I know my own age.  Yet here they are, trying to let go and love us and trust us - they have HOPE.

Today was so much better.  We had lots of snuggles, giggles, play time, a super long bath (which they loved), and FEASTING.  Yes, feasting. Meaning they eat and eat and eat!  We knew to expect this, so we stocked up on groceries right away, but we are going to have to take another trip!  We are going to brave our 1st solo field trip with them tomorrow, so wish us luck.   Ready or not...here we come world!! 

The first week and a half was so tough. It was just heartbreaking to see the conflict in my babies’ eyes.  They so desperately wanted the love we were offering, but were terrified to take it at the same time.  I will tell you what though – my 2 boys are the BRAVEST boys I know. There is no way my 5/6 year old self could have handled any of that.  And there they were, fighting with all of their might to break through the hurt and fear.  They AMAZE me…Every. Single. Day.

After that 1^st week and a half, something just clicked.  The boys were starting to get the hang of this whole family thing…and so were we. The rest of our time in Lublin flew by.  We had so much fun exploring with the boys.  We also had 2 visits from the social worker, government rep and caregivers.  One on Friday, May 22^nd and the final one on Wednesday, May 27^th.  Below is an expert from the email I sent during that time:

Our visit on Friday went great. The boys asked them when they were going to leave so we could play zombies!  LOL!  We had another visit yesterday and that went really well too.  Both the social worker and the government adoption authority representative said that they will be giving positive remarks for the adoption in court.  They called our facilitator yesterday after the visit and told her that they were very impressed with how well we were doing with the boys and how much they have already connected with us. 

The boys' behavior is like night and day from a week ago.  They are listening much better, they are trusting us, they are very affectionate, and we are able to have a lot of fun with them.  We have been to the park several times.  The parks here are absolutely amazing – I wish we had some like this back home. We made it to Old Town a couple of times too – so beautiful.  We braved the Trinity Tower w/ the boys.  They did so good, but we were all exhausted by the time we got home.  We have walked everywhere - I would guess we have gotten in 35-50 miles since we have been here.  We love it here and are afraid we have been a bit spoiled.  We are really going to miss this place.

I am writing this as we wait for our car to pick us up to take us to Bilgoraj tonight.  We have an early court time tomorrow - 9AM, so that is 2AM your time.  Please say a prayer that all goes well.  Right after that we will be heading to Warsaw for our remaining time in Poland. After court, we will also know our return date. We have been praying our request to shorten the appeals period goes through.

With our hearts full and our first memories as a family of 4 burned in our minds, it was with much anticipation that we said farewell to Lublin and set out on the next part of our journey.

Just an Ordinary Day

Thursday, April 30^th, 2015 started out as just an ordinary day.  My morning started pleading with God to get me back to my boys.  I then headed off to work for a busy day full of meetings and preparation for a business trip the following week.  Wally had the day off - I am sure I had a honey-do-list a mile long for him to work on as we prepared to bring the boys home.  Nothing special.  That was until…Wally starts blowing me up - crazy boy style!  He was calling my desk line, my cell and texting me to call him right away.  I desperately wanted to call him back as I assumed it was about the boys - not to say he wouldn't try and reach me that frantically just to profess his love for me.  Unfortunately, I was on a conference call and couldn’t.  At first he didn’t want to tell me via text, but I begged and pleaded as I could no longer stand the suspense.  He finally sent me a text: “Yes, we have travel dates, we leave next week!”

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!   Finally, I am going to go get my babies!  Thank you Jesus!  Wait, What?  Did you just say leave in 1 week?

As soon as my call was over, I quickly called Wally.  We laughed with joy and excitement and I of course cried.  He shared with me all of the details the agency provided and let me know that they would be providing more information soon.

For those of you following along, you know we were so desperately missing our boys that we had resorted to calling our agency every Thursday just to check-in and see if they had heard anything.  Bless their hearts – I don’t know how they didn’t grow tired of our calls.  Every call they patiently listened to our repetitive questions, encouraged us and ensured us we would know something as soon as they did.  We knew that would be the case, but there was something comforting about that weekly check-in. 

This Thursday’s call was much different than the rest.  Wally’s call to the agency caught them a bit off-guard as they had just received our travel information.  They hadn’t yet had the opportunity to review it, so they weren’t ready to share it with us.  However, they didn’t want to make us wait any longer and gave Wally as much info as they could!  It was enough for me!  All I needed to know was that in just over a week my boys would be in my arms and we would never have to be a part again!

Divide and conquer was our strategy moving forward.  We knew that in 1 week we both had to prepare for our leaves at work, finalize details with dog/house sitter, book our travel, finish preparing the house for the boys, and pack for a 2 month trip…not just for us, but for the boys too!

Looks like we just got our tickets to the crazy train, and we couldn’t be more thrilled!  All Aboard!

Proverbs 16:9  The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord established his steps.

 

Catching Up

I had great intentions of keeping up with the blog once we got the boys home.  As it turns out, time flies when you have little ones.  On top of that, playing with and loving on these sweet boys has been priority number one.  I spent so much time wishing for them to be here, and now that they finally are, I try to soak in every minute with them.

That being said, we are approaching our 1 year Famiversary.  I thought it would be fun to catch up on the blog by sharing our experiences at this time a year ago.

Heartache & Hope

It has been 5 months since I last kissed my sweet boys.  Five months since I last felt the weight of their arms wrapped around my neck.  I miss their sweet little giggles, their tiny fingers intertwined with mine, their flying hugs – I miss EVERYTHING about being around them. I have missed multiple holidays, birthdays and countless opportunities to just be their mama during these last 151 days.  My heart aches for them every single day.

I was doing pretty good up until we hit the 4 month mark.  Since then, I have been morphing into a total hot mess.  Some days it’s all I can do to just make it out of work and to my car before the tears fall.  Most of my evenings are spent pleading with God to get me back to my boys.  In my weakness I am tempted to be angry with God.  Thankfully I have been reminded that God loves them more than I ever could.  While that is hard to imagine, I know it to be true.  And I know He has His loving arms wrapped around my boys. They are His after all.  There is peace in knowing that, but it doesn’t alleviate the sting of the separation. 

While I don’t understand why getting back to them is taking so long, I do know that God is using this wait to mold me into the mother I need to be for these boys.  I have faith in His plans for our family.  God grants me new mercies and new strength every day so I can get through this.  I know that every night when my head hits my pillow I am one day closer to being reunited with my sweet boys.

We have had some good news recently.  Just last Thursday we had to complete a new Power of Attorney form.  It finally feels like things are moving forward again.  I have asked some of my adoptive mommy friends that have gone before me about their timelines.  It seems that the average is 2-4 weeks between the POA form and receiving travel dates.   So, I am hopeful that we will hear something soon.

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support.  We appreciate you all so much!

Psalm 71:14  As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. 

Getting to Know Our Littles

In the last blog I talked a lot about our trip and interactions with the boys, but not much about their personalities.  So, I thought I would share with you what Wally & I have learned about the boys so far.

They are both so adorable – I mean seriously adorable.  Their big eyes and happy little smiles absolutely melt this mama’s heart!  They are both 100% BOY!!!  They are full of energy and are constantly on the move!  They love rough housing and climbing on daddy like he is a jungle gym.  In fact, they are like 2 little monkeys and like to climb on everything! They love cars, soccer balls, games, being tickled and playing at the park.  Getting them off of the swings was no easy task! We brought bubbles with us, and those were the biggest hit!  Every day we had to play with bubbles!  They also LOVED seeing pictures and videos of themselves. They are so silly and enjoyed hamming it up for us and the cameras!  They love making funny faces at us, and love it even more when we make them back!  Their big laughs and tiny giggles are the best – I would do anything to hear those sweet little laughs again.  The best thing ever is that they are both really affectionate (after they warm up to you) – I got way more hugs and cuddles than I was expecting on our first trip.  I can’t wait for all of those hugs and cuddles again!

Little K is pretty laid back and so smart.  He can already count to 20 in English.  He knows some English words, and always asked us how to say things in English. Before coloring in his activity book, we had to go through each page and tell him what everything was in English. I don’t think he will have any problems catching on to English quickly.  He is very inquisitive and wants to know how things work and why.   He loves mazes, puzzles, games, crafting/coloring, and taking pictures.  We have hundreds of pictures courtesy of Little K!  Most of them are blurry and aren’t really of anything, but he did get us a couple of good ones of Little A!  He also liked to “do” mama’s hair.  If you ever see my out and about and my hair looks questionable, just go with it!  He is quite the little helper too – he was always stepping in to help his little brother and the other little kids too.  He loves to snuggle and hates good-byes just as much as his mama does.

Little A is such a tiny little thing but has a HUGE personality.  He is very animated and has the best facial expressions!  He is a bit sassy too!  I think Little A is the child my mother always wished I would have.  You know…those moments when you were doing something questionable and your mom said “I hope you have a child just like you”!  He loves coloring and he really loves stickers.  He likes to stick them on you and then try to put them back a bit later. I have learned with this little one around I will always have something on my shirt.  Whether it be stickers, snot or food, to Little A, my shirt is fair game!  He also loves sneaking up on you and surprising you and he loves being surprised too!  As I mentioned before, both boys love cars, but Little A really, really loves cars!  We gave him a car on the 1st day, and that thing did not leave his side!  He loves to sit across from you, have your feet touch and push the car back and forth.  He is very particular and likes to have things organized in a certain way!  I wonder if that trait will last once he is home?!?!

Don’t’ they just sound like a boatload of love and fun?!?!  They totally are!  I cannot wait for our friends and family to fall in love with these 2 just as we have.  We aren’t leaving tomorrow, but we are getting closer!

 Quick Status Update:

·         What’s Happened:

o   Wednesday, January 14th – received notification that our paperwork was on it’s way to our agency form Poland

o   Thursday, January 22nd – received notification that our agency received the paperwork

o   Thursday, January 29th – we received our paperwork

o   Saturday, January 31st – sent paperwork (overnight of course) to USCIS

·         What’s Next:

o   Wait for approval from USCIS (we are praying we get this before the end of February)

o   Wait for Poland to assign us a court date & travel dates

o   Go get our boys & bring them HOME!

  1 John 4:19 - We love because he first loved us.

The Highest High and the Lowest Low - Our First Trip

Wally and I were able to take our 1^st trip to meet our boys in late November.  I don’t know what a 1^st trip is supposed to be like, but I can’t imagine it going any better.  It was so awesome and Wally and I are so in love with these little boys!  They are definitely meant to be a part of our family.

On Monday, November 17^th we left Warsaw and made a long drive to meet an adoption government official and the social worker.  After a brief meeting with them, we were on the road again making a 90 minute drive to get to the orphanage.  The boys knew that there were visitors coming, so when we arrived there was a whole group of them waiting to greet us in the entry way.  We got to spend a little time with them and then sat down for a chat with their caregivers.  We learned a lot more about their situation prior to coming to the orphanage and all of the progress they have made since.  Our boys are truly loved there and we are so very grateful for all of the wonderful people who have helped our boys since their arrival.  After that we had to meet the director of the orphanage, and then we were able to come back and play with our boys for a few hours.  They were pretty shy at first, but they warmed up pretty quickly once we started playing.

On Tuesday, November 18^th we arrived back at the orphanage at 10am.  The boys excitedly ran to the door to greet us – we knew it would be a great day.  We were only supposed to stay for a couple of hours in the morning and then come back for a couple of hours in the evening.  We got so lucky and got to leave at 4pm and spend the entire day with our boys.  We had tons of play time and were able to share lunch with them.  The weather cooperated and we even got to take them outside to the playground for a while.  Some of my favorite memories of this trip were made at that playground.  Their little personalities really started shining through as the day progressed.  When we went to leave sweet little Mr. K kept holding my arm and asking me not to go…this practice continued the rest of the week. 

Wednesday, November 19^th was a super special day.  We arrived at 9am and our sweet boys were anxiously awaiting our arrival.  We were able to sit down with the boys, their caregiver and their psychiatrist and present them with photo books we had prepared for them.  It included pictures of Wally & I, the dogs, our house, and we added polaroid pictures we had taken of us with them.  When we presented them with the books, they were told that we were going to be mommy and daddy.  The boys were so excited.  I don’t know that little Mr. A fully understands it, but little Mr. K absolutely gets it.  We got an atlas out later that day so we could show them where Poland is and where Wisconsin is.  Little Mr. K immediately asked when he gets to ride an airplane to go there!  As his psychiatrist told us, he is so ready for his new family! We spent a lot of time playing with the boys and really getting to know them.  We were asked to stay late this day and put them to bed.  No arguments here – we were able to stay until 8pm and enjoyed every minute we were able to spend with them.

Thursday, November 20^th was honestly the toughest day I have ever had.  I am not exaggerating – it was truly heartbreaking.  I knew the good-byes were coming, so the morning started with tears. When we arrived at 9am we were greeted with flying hugs (the best kind) and we had some time to play with the boys before we sat down for a final chat with their caregiver.  She answered more of our questions and shared her thoughts with us.  She told us that she had prayed for a family for our boys for a long time and that she was so happy how quickly we connected with the boys and how quickly the connected with us.  Needless to say we were all in tears…the good kind though!  Shortly after she had prepared a lovely lunch of traditional Polish food – pierogis!!  She had arranged it so it was just us with the boys so we could have alone time before leaving.  After that, we had a few more minutes of playtime and then the good-byes begun.  I did pretty good keeping it together.  We had lots of hugs and kisses and they even called us mama and tata.  The caregiver did an excellent job telling what was going on.  However, sweet little Mr. K saw no need for us to go get things ready – he was ready to come home now.  He ran to the door and put his little stocking hat on and was quite adamant that he would just leave now.  That is when this mama could no longer keep it together and the tears came.  Walking out that door and looking back was more than I could take – in that moment, my heart broke into a million pieces.  I pretty much sobbed the rest of the day and kept trying to figure out how I was going to make it through the coming months.

I loved these boys when we first started this adoption journey; I loved them more when we received their referral, and now that love is indescribable!  It’s like there has always been a secret compartment of my heart that I never knew about, but was always reserved for them – my heart is so full!  I thought that it might take a little longer to love them this way, but it came so quickly and I know it will only grow!  My heart remains in Poland with my 2 boys.  Nothing feels the same anymore – it always feels like something is missing.  When we walked into our home after getting back, it was the 1^st time it ever felt empty.

We ask that you pray that the paperwork moves quickly and we are able to get back to our boys very soon!

“Every minute feels like an hour, every hour feels like a day, every day feels like forever, but I will wait for you forever and a day.”

Francis Family Happenings: August – October

Wow…it has been a crazy couple of months.  A lot of you have been asking for updates, so I will give you the short and sweet version.  In most cases, people get to travel to Poland within a month of accepting their referral.  However, A&K fell just outside of what we were originally approved for regarding age, so we had to update our paperwork.  We used expeditor services and found that they are worth every penny.  Why didn’t we use them on the 1^st round of paperwork?  We will know better for next time.  As you will probably notice in our timeline below, we did slow down a bit in October and didn’t expedite anything.  I know what you are thinking…are you guys crazy? Don’t you want to hurry up and meet your boys?  I was thinking the exact same thing and it took everything in me not to expedite things.  And for the record, YES…I cannot wait to meet them!!!  For reasons beyond our control, there was going to be a delay in getting travel dates no matter how quickly we got the paperwork to our agency.  We decide to save money and practice patience.  It wasn’t easy, but we did it.  Well almost…we did end up sending the final paperwork overnight to our agency.  I just couldn’t help myself!  Even longer story short – there is a very good reason for the delay.  I just can’t tell you about it yet.  I know, I know….so many secrets!  I hate keeping them, but I promise I will spill the beans once the boys are officially ours.

Now what?  Well, we are running around like crazy trying to get ready for our 1^st trip.  We leave shortly and there is so much to do.  We have also started renewing our paperwork.  That’s right, round 3 of the paperwork is already underway.  It should be fairly simple since we just had to update our paperwork.  We weren’t able to renew when we were updating because we were not within 90 days of the expiration of our approval.  So many rules and so much paperwork!  A&K are beyond worth it!  All of this paperwork will be a distant memory soon!

We are so excited to share our journey with you and are so very blessed by all of your love & support.   We ask for your continued prayers as we prepare to travel.

Paperwork Round 2:

·         August 14^th - received our referral for A & K 

·         August 18^th - met with an international adoption doctor

·         August 18^th - accepted the referral for A & K

·         August 19^th - began paperwork update

·         August 29^th - completed our part of the paper work

·         September 8^th - home study approved

·         September 15^th - sent paperwork to USCIS

·         October 1^st - found out USCIS paperwork was approved

·         October 4^th - received USCIS approval in the mail

·         October  9^th - dropped paperwork off at Secretary of State to be apostilled

·         October 14^th - picked up apostilled paperwork from Secretary of State & sent to our agency

·         October 27^th - received travel dates

We even found time to carve little A & K a pumpkin!

   

       Philippians 3:14

       I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

It's a BOY...and it's another BOY!!!!

Wally & I are beyond excited to announce that we have accepted a referral for 2 little boys!  While we always knew that 2 was a possibility, we never really thought we would get 2 - it's not very common!  This all seems very surreal.  We talked a lot today about how much our lives are going to change and it all just seems so crazy - the good kind of crazy! God has blessed us big time - we are getting 2 sons!

Per the adoption policies, we aren't able to share too much info about our little guys until after everything is official (that won't be until our 2nd trip).  This is in place to protect our children to be.  However, here is what I can tell you...

• They are brothers
• They are preschool age
• We are keeping their Polish names, but for now will be referring to them as little "A" & little "K"
• They are absolutely adorable - I seriously can't stop staring at their pictures
• Their mommy & daddy are already in LOVE with them and can't wait to meet them

While Wally & I are more than anxious to meet them, our 1st trip is going to be a bit delayed as we have to update some paperwork before we travel.  I will be starting in on that tomorrow and praying everything goes quickly and smoothly.  If I had to guess, I would say it will be sometime in November.  After that we come home for a few months and then go back for our 2nd trip to bring them home.  Once again, this is all guess work, but we are hoping to have them home by spring of 2015.

Thank you all so much for your love, support and prayers!  We ask that you continue to pray for the process and that we will be able to meet our sons soon.  Please pray that God also prepares their hearts and minds for their new family

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord had granted me what I asked of him.” – Samuel 1:27

Slipping Through the Cracks

I have to admit, when we started this adoption journey I had a romanticized idea of how it would all play out.  I am fully aware of all of the risks and uncertainties of adoption.  I have heard more adoption gone wrong stories than I would have liked to.  Even still, I hung onto the hope that ours would be different…it would be perfect!  When we started this journey, we never thought that any of that would happen to us.  No one ever starts an adoption journey thinking that they could be the family that slips through the cracks. Thinking that after all you have done, all you have invested emotionally and financially, that you would end up right back where you started just less pieces of your heart.

We have encountered a few hiccups, and to be honest, it has been a pretty tough summer for us.  We don’t have any awful stories and nothing major has gone wrong.  There have just been a lot of ups and downs and unexpected things along the way.  The waiting seems endless, but let’s be real, there are people who have waited 5+ years during their adoptions.  It sure makes my 1 year, 2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days seem insignificant.  What we are experiencing is “normal”, but for the first time, I feel like we might be one of those families that slip through the cracks.  How is that even possible?  Isn’t this God’s plan for us?

It’s a slippery slope, but before I allow myself to fall down the rabbit hole of self-pity, I quickly remember why we are doing this.  It’s not about us slipping through the cracks; it’s about all of those children that have slipped through the cracks.  There are millions of orphans in this world that just need love.  They just need a family of their own, a place to call home and someone to share Christ's love with them.  Every single child in this world is entitled to that.  If we don’t fight for them, who will?  If we don't make them our sons & daughters, who will?

So, no!  Not us!  Not the Francis Family!  We will not slip through the cracks!  Even though we haven’t experienced the flawless adoption (l don’t really think it exists), it is still perfect – perfectly His!  It becomes more beautiful every day!  God is using every hiccup and every obstacle to stretch my heart in ways I could have never imagined.   

I found this quote a while back, and I thought it would be appropriate to end with this.

"No, God never meant for me NOT to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let HIM down.

God has singled me out for a special treatment. God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known!" – author unknown

The Weight of the Wait

This post is a bit of a jumbled mess, but that is just how life is these days.  I really thought that I was going to be much better at this waiting game then I am proving to be.  They told us to expect 3 months for translation and authentication (April 3^rd was the 3 month mark), and to expect 4-10 months after that for a referral.  So, I guess when you look at it that way, I haven’t technically been “waiting” for that long – only 13 days. While I understand that, I have a very hard time explaining that to my heart, and it is quite clear that the heart trumps the brain in this process. Unfortunately it doesn’t matter how you shake it, it seems like an eternity to me.  I wake up every morning thinking that this could be the day that we get “the call”.  I go to bed every night a little sad that we didn’t get it.  I drive my husband crazy all day long with emails & text messages – why aren’t they calling us?  Do you think they will today?  What about this week?  When is it going to happen?  I want my baby!  Please make it happen now! 

I have a new obsession with my phone that would rival that of any teenage girl.  My phone does not leave my side.  I check it way more often than I would like to admit.  The temporary loss of it is enough to set off panic in my house.  Every single time it rings my heart stops.  I apologize if you have called me and I sounded disappointed when I answered – the truth is that I was.  I love you all very much, so please don’t take offense to that.  My newfound obsession is making me lose my manners.  I am horribly rude and check my phone during dinner, events, meetings, and even mid-conversation.  I don’t even mean to do it sometimes; at this point it’s just habit.  I promise, once this adoption is complete, my phone etiquette will return to normal.

With nothing but time on my hands, inevitably, more questions surface.  What is my little one doing right now?  Are they sick?  Are they sad?  Are they scared? Are their cries going unanswered?  How did they end up in an orphanage in the 1^st place? (That one is the most haunting for me.)  Why does this take so long when there are so many children in the world that just need love, and I am standing here begging to give it?  I know asking these questions are a moot point, but this is what my brain does to me…quite often.

The uncertainty of every day is wearying.  I try not to think about it, but really, how do I even do that?  I have this constant ache that reminds me something is missing - I am a mother without a child.  Truth be told - on the surface I may appear to have it together, but on the inside I am a hot mess.  I can be brought to tears in a matter of seconds.  Sometimes it is as simple as someone asking how the adoption is going, a song on the radio or if I linger too long in the little’s room.  Don’t even get me started on watching YouTube adoption videos.  I cry right along with those mamas getting to hold their babies for the first time, hoping and praying that someday that will be me.  Thank God I have my husband who has been my rock through this emotional roller coaster.

Thank you all very much for your understanding, support and continued prayers.  I hope we will have exciting news for you soon.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Choosing Faith Instead of Fear

I have been having a major case of the “what-ifs” lately.

Adoption is a beautiful and wonderful thing, but it is also crazy, unpredictable, scary, messy, emotional, and inevitably makes you ask yourself: “What the heck am I doing?”

Sometimes it’s all too easy to get caught up in the fears of adoption.

What if our child’s needs are more than we were expecting?  What if our child doesn’t attach or bond with us?  What if our child doesn’t love us?  What if they hate us for taking them away from their country?  What if they hate us just because? What if I don’t have the abilities to parent this child?  What if we can't save enough money?  Or worst of all…what if we don’t ever get a referral?  What if, what if, what if?!?!

 I don’t have the answers to any of my “what-ifs”, but there is someone who does.  God does!  I don’t know what my child’s needs are.  God does, and I have faith that He will not give my family more than we can handle.  I don’t know if our child will attach to us, bond with us or even love us.  God does, and I have faith that He will fill our home with happiness and love.  I don’t know if my child will hate me someday.  God does, and I have faith that He will guide me through that.  I have no idea if I have the ability to parent this child.  God does, and I have faith that He is preparing me to be the best mother that I can be to this child. I don't know how we are going to find the rest of the money to complete the adoption. God does, and I have faith that He will provide all that we need as he has done thus far.  I don’t know for sure that we will get a referral.  God does, and I have faith that He will be there to help me pick up the pieces if we don’t.

The outcome of our adoption journey is already known by Him.  There is nothing I can do or say that will change anything.  As a control freak, that is a tough pill to swallow, but true nonetheless.  I find peace in knowing that this is God’s plan for me, not my own.  That is so awesome because his plans always turn out so much better than mine do!  I know that God is ever faithful and I will cling to Him as I push through my fears and focus on the love, hope and beauty of this journey.  I have faith that soon I will come to know my child.

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

Oh Happy Day!

I am beyond excited to share with you that we have officially completed our dossier and it is in the mail!  I am not going to lie, I felt a little sick to my stomach when I had to hand it over.  It is on its way to our agency for final review before going to Poland.  That’s right – the paper chase has ended (for now)!  Can I get a WooHoo?!?! 

We received our I-797 on Monday.  That was the last document we were waiting for to complete our dossier.  We had it notarized yesterday and apostilled earlier this morning.  I would like to send a shout-out to the wonderful ladies that have been so good to us at the Secretary of State in WI – they are quick!  So, after 6.5 months of this crazy paper chase, our dossier is finally complete.  It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of our shoulders.  

 So, whats next? Our agency will review the dossier and send it off to Poland.  We were told to expect approximately 2 months for everything to get there, be translated and officially be on the waiting list for our child.  After that, we are just waiting on "the call".  The one that tells us who our child is and will forever change our lives.  I seriously can't believe that is our next step.

It's hard to articulate exactly what finishing our dossier means.  You see, it isn't just a pile of paperwork to us.  Its made up of so much more - countless hours, unending prayers, some tears of frustration and sometimes a bit of heartache, outburst of excitement at the mailbox when documents arrive, our dreams of becoming parents and bringing our little home - all wrapped up in unexplainable super duper big heart crazy kind of LOVE!

It has been a crazy journey so far, and we are so grateful we have the opportunity to share it with you.  We seriously could not do this without the love, support and prayers from all of you.  Please keep them coming!

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.” – Proverbs 13: 12

Many Thanks

We wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone.  We had so much help from so many people that it's hard to know where to begin.  We want to thank all of you who took the time to share our online auction site.  Whether it was sharing it on Facebook, sending out an email, or simply telling someone about it; we couldn't have made it happen without you.  We also want to thank all of the individuals and businesses that were kind enough to make donations:

• Flip Dog Designs
• Becky Hergenrother
• Michelle Ponti
• Groovy Grammas Creations
• Cedric Johnson
• Tastefully Simple
• Thirty One Gifts Representative Casey Davis
• Claudine's Pet Grooming
• Reflections Hair Salon & Spa
• Vintage Brewing Company
• Ellen Traum, The Pampered Chef Representative
• Dr. William Johnson - Winnebago, IL
• BPI Printing

Finally, we want to send a big thank you to everyone who bid on the items.  We most certainly could not have done it without you!

At this point, we are going to take a little hiatus from fundraising.  Keep checking in with us for more updates on our journey.  In the meantime, don't forget about our Amazon link on the right side of this blog.  It's an easy way to help us out if you are doing any Christmas shopping on Amazon.  Also, if anyone is interested, we do still have some puzzle pieces left.  If you are interested in buying and decorating a piece, contact us at afrancis1024@gmail.com and we will be happy to get them to you.

Merry Christmas to everyone!!!  Hopefully you will be hearing new and exciting updates from us very soon.

Auction Sneak Peek

As promised, our online auction site is up and ready to be previewed.  For your sneak peek, please visit www.expectingfrompolandauction.blogspot.com. 

We only have about 20 items up right now, but we have about 50 more to add this week.  Be sure to keep checking back to see what's new.  Also if you would like to donate an item or service, please let us know by Wednesday, November 27th.

Start your Black Friday holiday shopping at home and online!  Bidding starts Friday, November 29th  at 12AM CT and will end Friday, December 6th at 6PM CT. 

Please share our auction link with your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers!  Help us spread the word.  We appreciate all of your support. Happy Bidding!

One Step Closer

As discussed in an earlier blog, Wally and I sent in our 1-800a and were waiting for our appointment receipt to go to Homeland security in Milwaukee for our biometrics appointment.  We received that on our anniversary - best anniversary present ever!  It was exactly 2 weeks after sending in our I-800a.  Our appointment was set for 11/6.  I had read on other adoption blogs and forums that as long as you have your appointment receipt, they will usually take you early if you stop in.  We decided to take a chance. 
We both took personal days the very next day, said a prayer, and headed to Milwaukee. I was a bit nervous, but I kept reminding myself that God can move mountains, He most certainly can move someone at Homeland Security...right?  We had to wait a bit, but they let us in and we were able to get our biometrics done. Praise God!!  So, where does that leave us now?  Well, we are now waiting on our I-797s.  That is it!  That's right, only 1 piece of paper left, and our dossier is complete.  One. Piece.Of. Paper.  How crazy is that?!?!  After all of the paperchasing, its hard to believe that there is only 1 document left. The not so so great news is that it could be another 60 days before we see it.  I am going to remain hopeful that we will have it before the end of the year.  We are further along in the process than we thought we would be at this point, so I will just continue to celebrate that!

We should have our online auction site up this week, so keep your eye out for that.  Also, as you begin your holiday shopping, don't forget our Amazon link on the right side of the blog.  Amazon pays us marketing fees for every purchase!  Every little bit helps!

God is moving in our adoption - we feel it, and we can see it. Thank you so much for your prayers, and we ask that you continue to pray for us and our little as we continue on our journey.  Your love, prayers and support mean the world to us!

Ephesians 4:1-2
I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love,

Y'all Put the Fun in Fundraising!

As you know, Wally & I had two bowling fundraisers in October - one in Rockford & one in Madison. We were absolutely blown away by the generosity and support from our friends, family, and even some people we just met at the events.  Thank you so much for helping us get one step closer!  We would also like to say a special thank you to all of our volunteers - we would not have been able to do it without you!  We had so much fun, and hope you all did too! It is so awesome to watch so many people come together to help us bring the little home. I can't wait to show them the pictures someday!

We would also like to recognize and thank the organizations that provided donations for our silent auctions.

• Anna's Pizza & Pasta
• BPI Printing
• Cheryl Anne's Closet
• Claudine's Pet Grooming
• Color Exhibition
• Ebonite
• Edible Arrangements
• Eickman's
• Flip Dog Designs
• Groovy Grammas Creations
• Rockford IceHogs
• Tyranena
• Vintage Brewing Co.

Our next fundraiser will be an online auction.  It will begin Friday, November 29th at 12am and end Friday, December 6th at 9pm.  Just in time for Christmas shopping! As a quick teaser, I will mention that we have lots of great items including Coach, Vera Bradley, Apple Accessories, Skullcandy, Rachel Ray, Pampered Chef, and Tastefully Simple. We will be posting a preview in the next couple of weeks.

We simply can't thank you enough!  Your prayers are working, so please keep them coming!

2 Corinthians 9:8And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work 

Back on Track

Wow.  Where to begin?  So much has happened since my last post. 

 Let’s start with a little hiccup we encountered in mid-September.  We received an email from our social worker about a paperwork problem she had encountered with other families.  We found out that the WI Secretary of State would not apostille the child abuse clearance forms as they were not originals.  The procedure for those documents, as laid out by our primary agency, was to add an affidavit to the back of the documents and have it notarized.  Just to be clear – EVERY document in our dossier must be apostilled.  No exceptions!  Apostilled is just a fancy word for authenticating – basically saying the document is legit. Anyways, we got in touch with our primary agency and they suggested we get our documents in to be apostilled ASAP.  Wally and I had almost all of our documents anyways, so we decided to give it whirl.  Since we live near Madison, I was able to go drop off our documents in person.  My friend Becky had to drive me because I was so nervous, and I seriously thought I was going to get sick when I handed all of those documents over.  So much so, that I had to inform the person in the office.  She laughed and guessed that I was adopting.  I must not be the only one to have those feelings!  She reviewed my documents right in front of me and said everything looked good and that I would get a call when they were done.  I felt pretty good about it, but knew I wouldn’t be able to rest easy until I had them back.  She called the next morning to inform me they were done.  What?  I thought that was going to take a week!  Feeling confident, I picked up our documents, and everything, including our child abuse clearances (the forms in question), were apostilled.  Praise the Lord!  With all of the ups and downs of adoption, it sure is nice when something just works out.

Meanwhile, Wally and I were still waiting to receive our final home study.  There were a couple of documents that got missed, so there was a lot of back and forth with our primary agency and social worker.  It seems like it took forever, but we FINALLY got it!  What does that mean?  Well, it means more “hurry up and wait”.  Along with our home study, we received our instructions for our I-800A.  This document will begin our process with USCIS (immigration).  We got that filled out and sent in the next day.  Now we wait to get an appointment at the Homeland Security Office in Milwaukee for our biometrics.  After that we will receive our I -797 – the final piece of our dossier.  Once we have that, we will get it apostilled and our dossier will be complete!  It feels like we are getting close!  Our hope is to have our dossier in Poland before the end of the year.  Please pray this process goes smoothly.  I will be sure to keep you posted.

The love, support, and prayers that have been coming in from all over are amazing.  Thank you all so much for being a part of our journey.

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” -Psalm 126:3